Skeeter Davis Alert™: Seven deadly omens signal Judgment Day in 2011!

Publication: Sun
1 August 2011

Once again, the Sun wants us to know we live in The End Times, even though people who take the Bible seriously shouldn't believe a word of this. They say there are seven deadly omens, but they only give three on the cover, so those are the only ones I include in this post.

• Worldwide riots
• Killer storms
• New great depression
  

Usually, I say I will report back at the time when these things are supposed to take place. Unlike most of the predictions, these are both common enough and vague enough that I expect at least one and maybe two of them to come true. After all, the Atlantic hurricane season has yet to take place and there are always deaths somewhere due to them, so "killer storms" is pretty much a lock. Riots are common enough and as for the word "depression" to describe the current economic mess, even Paul Krugman is using it now, though he calls it the Lesser Depression.

The only thing far fetched is that these events will be signs of the End Times. It's just the everyday crap we live with, so don't get all drama queen about it.

Skeeter Davis Alert™: NASA says giant asteroid heading for Earth in November!

Publication: Sun
Date: 11 July 2011

If you've been following this blog, you probably realize the name Nostradamus doesn't mean as much as it used to. Lots of alleged Nostradamus prophecies have come up craps in the past year and a half. So this time, the Sun uses NASA as the source of the latest doomsday scenario. An asteroid will hit the earth this November with the force of 65,000 atomic bombs.

On December 1, I expect to be here to report on whether this catastrophe happened or not.

Skeeter Davis Alert™: Bible code reveals what will really happen in 2012!

Publication: Sun
Date: 27 June 2011

The Sun has a headline that barely meets all the requirements of a prophecy I can publish and check, which means a date, in this case the end of 2012, and an event, which isn't written in words, but does have a picture of the globe blowing up.

Also, the Sun tells its readers this is based on Bible codes, not some off brand Mayan prophecy that can't be reliable.

Who buys this stuff? As my brother pointed out recently, 100 is the average and the median IQ in the world, so half the world, and half of of Americans in particular, have two digit IQs.

It explains a lot.

Skeeter Davis Alert™: More bad news from the Mayans.

Publication: Sun
Date: 13 June 2011

The Sun has not been very useful to this blog over the past few months. I do not publish their end times stuff or disaster prediction unless there's an actual date involved and they haven't done much of that this year. This week they throw me a bone with predictions based on the alleged upcoming apocalypse foretold by the Mayans. Here are the dates.

• July 2011: earthquakes rock the Midwest
• Sept 2011: Great flood sweeps entire U.S.
  

As for earthquakes in the Midwest, they do happen and there have been some big ones, but because it's the relief of pressure in the middle of a tectonic plate, they are very rare. The graphic shows a house completely demolished. As a Californian, I'm going to be all arbitrary and say anything less than a 6.0 on the Richter scale is not a quake worth predicting.

The graphic for the great flood is a massive honking wave hitting the Statue of Liberty, so I'm going to say that a river overflowing its banks in September will NOT count as a correct prophecy.

Skeeter Davis Alert™: End of the World on July 4! (Again.)

Publication: Sun
Date: 2 May 2011

I hate to spoil everybody's Easter, but I report this day on the worst prediction of the End of the World I've seen yet on the cover of the Sun.

The world will end on July 4!

Again.

They predicted the same thing last year with almost the same details and same alleged prophets.

Here are the sub-headlines from this week's cover.

• Mother Teresa: Hidden Bible secrets
• Black Elk: Who will be saved
• Nostradamus: New Great plague hits U.S.
• John the Baptist: Satan appears in Congress
  

The only change from last year's line-up of dead psychic stars is Nostradamus is in and Edgar Cayce is out. Edgar saw firestorms instead of a great plague.

I've often wondered who buys the Sun and how profitable it can be. I'm now guessing the entire workforce is less than twenty, so it makes profitability a lot easier.

Skeeter Davis Alert™: End of the World postponed three years!

Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 25 April 2011

The Weekly World News and the Sun, allegedly two different editorial staffs sharing the same pages, got their wires crossed this week. The Sun has a story about the JFK assassination and the Weekly World News has a headline about the end of the world.

The Weekly World News tells us that someone who predicted the apocalypse has come out and changed the date by three years.

Let me admit a weakness. This headline made me open the tabloid, something I do not do on general principles. The person changing his mind was some off brand preacher from Alabama who said the end of the world would be in 2010, who now says the correct date is 2013.

Just to be clear, it was NOT Dr. Harold Camping changing his mind. He still says the Rapture will take place on May 21, 2011.

Of course, he also predicted it would be September 6, 1994, and when that day came and went incident free, he pushed the date back to March 1995. After his second swing and miss, the good Doctor said "The Lord has decided to tarry."

In the immortal words of Rocket J. Squirrel, "But that trick NEVER works."

Billy Graham fought demons... and won!

Publication: Sun
Date: 18 April 2011

The Sun had its usual fare on the cover this week. You know, end of the world just around the corner, in fact just "weeks away". But, that's not a testable date, so I'm not broadcasting that story.

They did have a headline they called a "last days shocker" that Billy Graham claims to have fought demons... and won!

If that's goofy Christian code talk for saying he's cut his son Franklin out of his will, well... that would truly be a blessing.

'Cos that mofo is crazy.