Rich people are rich: Kim's wild Vegas party.

Publication: OK!
Date: 8 August 2011

Only one story about Kim K. on the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter this week. She threw a party in Vegas.

That hardly seems like news, does it? They are always partying in Vegas.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™ and Rich People are Rich: This week's Jen and Justin news.

Publications: In Touch, Star
Date: 8 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Two new stories about the Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux romance are in the supermarket rags this week, and they both point in the same positive direction. Here are the headlines.

• In Touch: Jen & Justin: $60 million mansion
• Star: Jen and Justin set the date (Exclusive)

I don't know if any of the stories can be trusted, but I do know with recent pictures, Justin has finally shaved off that ridiculous beard.

It may be his "deer in the headlights" look, but I'm going to have to get used to this. I imagine Jen feels the same.

Rich people are rich: Royal visit stories.

Publications: People, Us Weekly
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The are a lot of stories about Wills or Kate or both this week, but only two focus on the visit that just ended. Here are the headlines.

• Us Weekly: Inside the royal visit
  all the photos
• People: Dazzling! Will & Kate Conquer America
  14 pages of Royal Tour photos
  Gowns! Glamour! Private moments!

Wills'N'Kate in The New World.

Publications: Us Weekly, Weekly Life & Style, Globe
Date: 18 July 2011

Now that the young royals are on this side of the Atlantic, the American gossip rags are all over the story. People mentioned only Kate, but three other mags mentioned the couple. Here are the headlines.

• Weekly Life & Style: Kate & William American Vacation album
• Globe: William & Kate baby drama
  Too thin royal bride's secret visit to a U.S. fertility clinic -Palace insiders reveal
• Us Weekly: Kate & Will's photo diary
  Secrets of the Royal Visits
  Kate brought 40 outfits!
  Their intimate date - in a log cabin
  She's talking about a baby!

The Globe can't help but be negative, while all the rest of the coverage has been glowing.

Stay classy, Globe!

Rich people are rich: Ellen's $60 million estate.

Publication: Globe
Date: 4 July 2011

While she is no longer on American False Idol, Ellen DeGeneres is still on daytime TV, which means she is of interest to the low rent Examiner's target demographic. Of all the homes mention in the category "Rich People Are Rich" in the last year and a half, this is the most expensive price on a house by at least a factor of two.

On the rocks alert: The end of the marriage of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles.

Publication: Globe
Date: 5 July 2011

In American gossip, the Queen Bitch is Angelina Jolie. In Brit gossip, it's Camilla Parker-Bowles. She is always scheming or collapsing over some setback or saying something nasty about someone. Here in the States, almost all these stories are in the Globe or the low rent Examiner.

For the third time in a year and a half, we have a story that Charles and Camilla have already divorced. Here are the details this time.

• Camilla & Charles It's Over!
• The final bust-up
• Their $300 million divorce
• Fighting in public June 11, 2011

A year ago, the settlement was $250 million, so obviously it's been a profitable year for the royals.

All this week's news about Angelina Jolie.

Publications: In Touch, Star
Date: 27 June 2011

Angelina Jolie is the center of the American gossip solar system and everything revolves around her. This was true long before I started this blog a year and a half ago. While Jennifer Aniston and Sandra Bullock have appeared on more covers than BrAngelina, there are also the solo stories about Angie. If I split every story about the couple into a story about each, instead of BrAngelina being in third place and Angie being in tenth, she would be first and he would be second.

Heck, the gossip rags wouldn't care as much about Jennifer Aniston if she wasn't the modern day equivalent of Debbie Reynolds to Angie's Elizabeth Taylor.

While Brad gets mentioned in passing in one of this week's stories, the focus is on Angelina. Here are the headlines.

• In Touch: Angelina's $500,000 birthday gift
• Star: Angelina's secrets & lies
  tell-all book banned!
  Her secret trial separation from Brad
  Cheating - other men, other women
  Held hostage with a gun to her head
  11 Never-before-seen family photos
  Teen guitar hero
  First wedding
  
  

All this week's news about Wills'N'Kate

Publications: Globe, People, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 27 June 2011

The Royal Couple are still a hot topic in the gossip rags, and they will probably stay that way as long as Kate is pretty, which could be quite a while. Here are the positive headlines.

People: The Princess Diaries
In her new role as duchess and wife, Kate dazzles the world with her real-girl glamour. Plus the couple pick a palace.

Weekly Life & Style: Wills'N'Kate: Inside their palace

But since every punch bowl is just another urinal to the dogs in the AMI kennel, here's the Globe's take on the situation.

Globe: As pressure mounts for Royal baby…
William's wife snaps!
Kate: "Now I know how Diana felt"
Secret letters hide shocking torment

Rich people are rich: Inside Sandra's $23 million mansion.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 13 June 2011

Sandra Bullock, like BrAngelina or Jennifer Aniston, doesn't actually have to do anything newsworthy or ever gossip-worthy to get on the cover of a magazine. This week, Weekly Life & Style gives us a tour of her very expensive house.

I imagine it's nice.

Bells are Ringing Alert™: Jessica Simpson's $1 million wedding.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 30 May 2011

In Touch lets us know that Jessica Simpson is planning to have a wedding that will cost $1,000,000. That sounds like a lot, but her clothing line has been generating $1 billion in sales a year and her net worth is in the $100 million range, so this little shindig will not be putting her in the poorhouse.

Rich people are rich: Kardashian vacation album.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 16 May 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week...right now!

Because this was a slow week for the gossip rags with the low rent Examiner gone missing and a lot of mags covering the same stories, most especially the royal wedding, it meant very little news for reality TV. Us Weekly has a picture of an unidentified Kardashian sister in a yellow bikini, but her figure looks thinner than Kim, Kourtney or Khloe, so it may be one of the younger sisters, Kylie or Kendall Jenner.

Kick a corpse, why don'tcha? Tony Curtis cuts kids out of $60 million will.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 2 May 2011

For the Globe and low rent Examiner, someone being dead is no reason they can't appear on the cover of a gossip rag. As often happens with the two Wicked Step Sisters who love the Hey Old Timer gossip, we get a story about a dispute over the will. In the case of Tony Curtis, this dispute becomes a cover story seven months after his death.

The lawyers must be piling up the billable hours big time.

Bun In The Oven Alert™: Mariah Carey's baby joy.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 2 May 2011

Does is seem to you like Mariah Carey has been pregnant forever? The first rumors of her being pregnant started thirteen months ago and it's been seven months since she announced on The Today Show she would be have a baby in the spring. In any case, this is the eighth cover story about Mariah this year, all but one about the pregnancy. This one promise exclusive pictures of the lavish nursery as well.

Best wishes to all involved.

Rich people are rich:Kate Middleton's $1,000,000 gift from the queen.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 2 May 2011

Nearly forgotten in all the royal wedding gossip is old Liz Windsor, the actual head of the British monarchy. Earlier this year, the low rent Examiner said she would make William king as soon as he married, but that's not how these people roll. Why have only one lavish pointless ceremony when you can have two instead?

In Touch says QE II bought Kate a one million dollar gift.

What she couldn't afford one million pounds?

The old tightwad.

Rich people are rich: Suri's $5 million birthday gift!

Publication: OK!
Date: 25 April 2011

Suri Cruise is the most popular target under ten years old for the supermarket rags, just barely edging out Shiloh Jolie-Pitt.

The general impression the public gets from the stories about Shiloh is simple. She's a spoiled brat.

Rich people are rich: Inside Sarah Jessica Parker's $19 million home.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 25 April 2011

Sarah Jessica Parker does not have a movie coming out soon, but Weekly Life & Style thinks we are interested in her $19 million home.

There might be someone interested, but it's not me personally.