Rich people are rich: Inside Sandra's $23 million mansion.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 13 June 2011

Sandra Bullock, like BrAngelina or Jennifer Aniston, doesn't actually have to do anything newsworthy or ever gossip-worthy to get on the cover of a magazine. This week, Weekly Life & Style gives us a tour of her very expensive house.

I imagine it's nice.

Bundle of Joy Alert?: Sandra adopting again.

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 30 May 2011

Star is going with the story that Sandra Bullock is adopting again and will have a second child in the house by the end of summer. Bullock's reps deny it. The best Star can do is say Sandy was really good at keeping it secret last time, but I don't recall her having to deny a story in the press.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™: Jesse's latest twisted insult.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 23 May 2011

I had some hope that Jesse James would slink out of the Top Ten celebrities in the tabloids, but he keeps getting the occasional mention. Now it's Us Weekly that is reporting on some new stupid way he's decided to insult the only woman he's ever been with that might keep his kids from being complete douche bags when they grow up.

This is the first time I've given Jesse and Sandy a Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™, though she has fussed and feuded with his ex. It's certainly not On The Rocks anymore.

Love Bird Alert™: Sandra's new man.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 23 May 2011

Since she is not wearing a wedding ring, Sandra Bullock's love life is still an important topic to the gossip rags. Weekly Life & Style says she has a new fella on the cover of this week's mag, but doesn't name him or provide a picture.

This usually means he isn't nearly as famous as she is.

On the rocks alert: Sandra betrayed again.

Publication: Star
Date: 9 May 2011

Once again, Jesse James is back on the cover of a supermarket rag and he blames Sandra Bullock for the fact he can't keep his penis in his pants. Pretty much the exact same story won Meanest Story of the Week way back in August of last year.

I didn't even think about nominating it for Meanest Story this week because it is such old news. Jesse is fading from the spotlight and the faster that happens, the better.