Love Bird Alert™ and On The Rocks Alert: J. Lo alone and... back together with Ben Affleck?

Publications: People, Us Weekly, Weekly Life & Style, OK!
Date: 8 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! So, now that J. Lo and Marc Anthony are no more, do we care about how he's doing?

Please. Get serious. It's all J. Lo all the time on the covers of the magazines this week. Here are the stories about her whooping it up.

• People: J. Lo Solo: Her birthday without Marc
• Us Weekly: J.Lo Parties Post Split
• Weekly Life & Style: J. Lo's revenge

And then there's OK!, the nicest of the supermarket rags if not the most reliable, They say she's going to get back together with Ben Affleck.

• OK!: The plan to get Ben and J. Lo back together!
  Inside their private talks!
  All the intimate details
  Even J. Lo's mom is in on it!

Affleck isn't a fixture in the Only Ten Magazines That Matter, but there have been some stories about trouble in his marriage to Jennifer Garner.

Even if they are true, let me say this.

Ben. Buddy. I know we've never met and it's exceedingly unlikely you'll ever read this, but going back to J. Lo would be the worst move of your career, and I'm including Gigli and Smokin' Aces.

Annoying label bookkeeping for J. Lo's divorce.

A story so big, one set of labels was not enough.

Breaking news: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony divorcing.

Publication: Huffington Post
Date: 15 July 2011

Trying to hide a story in the Friday news dump is not just for Washington D.C. anymore. Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez have decided to end their seven year marriage. To recap some of the stories of the past year in the gossip rags, Marc Anthony was allegedly not happy about her taking the job on American False Idol and in January she had an interview with the standard crap line "My kids saved me."

Maybe they saved her a bundle on car insurance. They sure couldn't save this drama queen's marriage.

J. Lo's ex-lover tells all!

Publication: Star
Date: 20 June 2011

Star says they have dirt from an ex-lover of Jennifer Lopez.

They are going to have to be more specific. That really doesn't shrink the field of possible sources very much.

Stars without make-up: May 2011 edition.

Publication: Star
Date: 23 May 2011

Star has picutres of actresses, singers and models without make-up and almost all of them look not very good to downright awful. There was one "guess who?" picture of a model, but I don't play that game. The people identified are J. Lo, Teri Hatcher, Meg Ryan and Kirstie Alley.

The most beautiful woman in the world: Jennifer Lopez.

Publication: People
Date: 25 April 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! People has their double issue on the stands this week of Most Beautiful People, and most of the cover goes to Jennifer Lopez, with little pictures of Mila Kunis and Ryan Reynolds and the headline "95 fabulous faces".

95 is not only an odd number, it's a strange number. How hard would it have been to find five more good looking people and push the list to an even hundred?

For me, J. Lo is pretty but not super special. I am of the opinion the Ben Affleck pulled off one of the great upgrades in show business history when he got rid of her and hooked up with the taller, sexier and much lower maintenance Jennifer Garner.