Demon Drugs Alert™: Paula Abdul's new beau busted for heroin.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 26 July 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

The Enquirer reports that Paula Abdul's new fella is a former heroin addict.

I looked online for his name. He's Jeff Bratton. He owns a record label. In my book, that makes him lower than a heroin addict, but that's just me.

A new crop of Bachelorette nonsense has just been planted.

Publications: OK!, In Touch
Date: 13 June 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! A new season of that awful dating show The Bachelorette has begun and OK! and In Touch start feeding us the dish, like it or not. Here are the headlines.

• In Touch: Bachelorette Ashley rejected!
• OK! Ashley's friends fear she's in danger

Note that OK! thinks this woman is already famous enough that she gets a first name and nothing else. I had to do some research to figure out who she was, but obviously I'm not the target market.

Meanest Story nominee: Tina Turner headed to booze rehab, friends fear.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 9 May 2011

Welcome (back) to gossip hell, Miss Tina Turner! The Enquirer has another one of those "friends fear" stories, which really means somebody needed a few bucks and they ratted out a celebrity for cash. According to this story, Tina is drinking hard after the death of her sister.

I hate to bring up age and Miss Turner in the same sentence, but I had a poster of her in my room when I was in high school, so she does technically count as Hey Old Timer Gossip.

This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.