Love Bird Alert™ and hussy alert: More about Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux.

Publications: People, Star, In Touch
Date: 11 July 2011

Eventually, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux will be together long enough to have a nice picture of them together. As it stands, they are always being photobombed in one way or another. (The person you can see who seems to be annoying them is Jason Sudelkis.)

In any case, there are three stories in the supermaket rags about them this week. Here are the headlines.

• People: Jen & Justin Romantic NYC weekend
• In Touch: Justin & Jen talking marriage
• Star: Justin & Jen: his jilted ex speaks out

Ah, the good old predictable Star. No punch bowl is complete unless there's a turd in it.

Hussy alert: Jen stole her new man.

Publication: Star
Date: 13 June 2011

Lots of stories about Jennifer Aniston in The Only Ten Magazines That Matter this week and they all have a different slant. Star says she stole her new fella from some unidentified party. They don't name Justin Theroux by name, but he is the consensus pick for her new beau.

After all the guys who have been stolen from her, I say it's only fair she gets a turn, right?

Hussy alert: Kate Hudson stole my man while I was pregnant.

Publication: Star
Date: 23 May 2011

So Kate Hudson is a hussy, if we are to believe Star magazine.

The most recent hussy alert was for her mom Goldie Hawn, so the apple does not fall from the tree.

Hussy alert: Goldie Hawn's wild night with a young hunk.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 April 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

The low rent Examiner goes with Hey Old Timer Gossip, telling us Goldie Hawn had a wild romp with some young hunk, which they call "shocking behavior at 65"!

Yes, the ditzy little blond on Laugh-In is now eligible for Social Security.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:How Courteney stole Jen's man!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 25 April 2011

Yet again, Jennifer Aniston is on the cover of a supermarket rag and, yet again, the story involves her love life.

Did you guess that it ends badly? Yes, I'm sure you did if you have been paying even the tiniest amount of attention. This appears to be a re-hash about the guy Courteney introduced to Jen then stole for herself.

If Kim Kardashian actually does get married, Jen will be all alone in the race for America's Spinster.

But that would be fitting, wouldn't it? Spinsters are supposed to be all alone.