Good Mom Alert™: Angelina and the kids in London.

Publications: People, In Touch
Date: 8 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! I've written it many times before, but it bears repeating. Other people have to do something to get on the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter. Angelina Jolie merely has to exist.

It's all about her and the kids this week, Brad is not mentioned. Here are the headlines.

• People: Angie and the kids take London
• In Touch: Angelina: Inside the Twins' World

Love Bird Alert™ and On The Rocks Alert: J. Lo alone and... back together with Ben Affleck?

Publications: People, Us Weekly, Weekly Life & Style, OK!
Date: 8 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! So, now that J. Lo and Marc Anthony are no more, do we care about how he's doing?

Please. Get serious. It's all J. Lo all the time on the covers of the magazines this week. Here are the stories about her whooping it up.

• People: J. Lo Solo: Her birthday without Marc
• Us Weekly: J.Lo Parties Post Split
• Weekly Life & Style: J. Lo's revenge

And then there's OK!, the nicest of the supermarket rags if not the most reliable, They say she's going to get back together with Ben Affleck.

• OK!: The plan to get Ben and J. Lo back together!
  Inside their private talks!
  All the intimate details
  Even J. Lo's mom is in on it!

Affleck isn't a fixture in the Only Ten Magazines That Matter, but there have been some stories about trouble in his marriage to Jennifer Garner.

Even if they are true, let me say this.

Ben. Buddy. I know we've never met and it's exceedingly unlikely you'll ever read this, but going back to J. Lo would be the worst move of your career, and I'm including Gigli and Smokin' Aces.

Kick a FRESH corpse, why don'tcha? Stories of Amy Winehouse's death.

Publications: People, National Enquirer, Star, Us Weekly, In Touch, OK!
Date: 8 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Amy Winehouse was a fixture in the British tabloids, but she was barely noticed in recent years on this side of the Atlantic until she died last week. Now there are six cover stories about her. Here are the headlines.

• OK!: Amy Winehouse's tragic death
  Her Last Interview (Exclusive)
• Us Weekly: Amy Winehouse - Her Lonely Last Days
• In Touch: Amy Winehouse - Her Final Interview
• Star: Amy Winehouse - Fight before fatal drug binge
• People: Amy Winehouse dead at 27
  Talent and Tragedy
  Her Final Days
  The singer's anguished life and why those who loved her could not prevent her tragic death
  "It was only a matter of time", said her mom
• National Enquirer: Amy Winehouse was pregnant when she died!

Stay classy, Enquirer!

Best wishes to the family and friends of Amy Winehouse, from a fan.

Love Bird Alert™: Elin Nordegren dating again!

Publication: People
Date: 1 August 2011

The gossip rags have pretty much forgotten about Tiger Woods, but here's People (of all people) letting us know that Elin Nordegren has decided she doesn't have to enter a convent just because she found out she married a man slut.

Good for her and better luck this time, hon.

On the rocks alert: The J. Lo - Marc Anthony break-up takes center stage.

Publications: People, OK!, Weekly Life & Style, In Touch, Star, Us Weekly, National Enquirer
Date: 1 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Easily the biggest story of the week is the divorce of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony with mentions on seven of ten supermarket rag covers. Here are the headlines.

• People: : J. Lo and Marc Anthony: Their marriage explodes
  The real story
  Their constant fighting
  rumors of infidelity
  jealousy issues
  what's next?
• OK!: J Lo's divorce shocker!
  Marc's been seeing his sexy ex-wife!
• In Touch: J. Lo's agony
  Marc's jealous rage
• Star: Inside J. Lo's bitter $250 million divorce
  Sexless nights
  Other women, other men
  Final screaming match
• Weekly Life & Style: $300 M divorce
  The cheating rumors that tore them apart
• Us Weekly: Cheating and Lies
  Her side of the story
  Marc caught with stewardess
  Screaming fights about flirting with costars
  A secret e-mail to Ben Affleck
  His desperate need to control her
• National Enquirer: J. Lo caught!
  Did this photo end their marriage?
  

Bells Done Rung™ Alert: The wedding of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo.

Publications: People, Weekly Life & Style, OK!, Us Weekly
Date: 1 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo got married in a quiet little ceremony that will be aired of TLC, a cable outfit that used to be The Learning Channel. They have since learned that dumb reality TV shows do better than actual educational stuff, so they give us this. Here are the headlines.

• People: Nick & Vanessa's wedding photos
  (Only in People)
• Weekly Life & Style: Nick & Vanessa's beach wedding
• Us Weekly: Nick & Vanessa's private island Wedding
  
• OK!: Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo get married
  

OK! did not have any cover art, which is an odd decision because they are a cute couple.

Best wishes to all concerned.

Rich people are rich: Royal visit stories.

Publications: People, Us Weekly
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The are a lot of stories about Wills or Kate or both this week, but only two focus on the visit that just ended. Here are the headlines.

• Us Weekly: Inside the royal visit
  all the photos
• People: Dazzling! Will & Kate Conquer America
  14 pages of Royal Tour photos
  Gowns! Glamour! Private moments!

Betty Ford, 1918-2011

Publication: People
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! People pays its respects to the former First Lady with a cover story this week, the sub-headline reading "Her Life of Courage". The only other supermarket rag mention of her in the past two years is when the low rent Examiner wrote that she and Nancy Reagan buried the hatchet.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Betty Ford, from a fan of the concept of moderate Republicans, who are sadly a dying breed.

And the camera noses in to the tears on her face: Jaycee Dugard My Untold Story

Publication: People
Date: 18 July 2011

People talks to Jaycee Dugard about the book she has coming out about her life after she was kidnapped. Here is what it says on the cover of the magazine.

• Kidnap survivor's own words
• In a moving excerpt from her book A Stolen Life, Jaycee Dugard, 31, talks about her 18 years in captivity, her rescue - and how she's healing
  

She Fought The Law Alert™: Casey Anthony found not guilty.

Publication: People
Date: 18 July 2011

The verdict in the Casey Anthony trial came out on Tuesday, which makes it hard for the supermarket rags to include it in this week's edition, which needs to be ready to ship around the country on early Wednesday to hit the news stands Thursday morning. Only People did the necessary work to get the story in this week's edition.

Kate in Canada!

Publication: People
Date: 18 July 2011

Technically, Kate Middleton is not Princess Catherine but Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge. (William is Duke of Cambridge as well as Prince William.) But in the gossip rags, she's just Kate, and she's still getting a lot of press, especially on this first trip to Canada and the U.S. All the other supermarket rags had Wills on the cover with her, but People was focused completely on her, not that guy she's married to who just going to be king one day.

It reminds me of a quip of John F. Kennedy on an overseas trip in 1961, when he told the press he was "the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris".

People puts the last nail in the coffin of the Brad and Emily story. Or at least one can hope.

Publication: People
Date: 11 July 2011

The season of the Bachelor starring this guy Brad last aired in March, but it was still a prime story in the supermarket rags in April and May, then mercifully ignored in June. Now that the new season of the Bachelorette is airing, I thought we might go back to those happy days when "Brad" meant Brad Pitt, but no such luck. People felt the need to repeat what everyone was saying two months ago, that the fake romance on the fake TV show was just a sham and now it's over.

Here are the headlines.

• Why I left Brad
  Reeling from the split Emily Maynard reveals how their romance went so wrong, so fast
  Brad admits: "It's all my fault"

On the rocks alert: the break-up of George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis.

Publications: Star, People
Date: 11 July 2011

The supermarket rags comment on the break-up of George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis, which was announced last week. Here are the headlines.

• People: George Clooney single again
• Star: George and Elisabetta: X-rated scandal before split

You will notice the somewhat positive spin from People and the salacious take from Star. There is the difference in the magazines in a nutshell.

Love Bird Alert™ and hussy alert: More about Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux.

Publications: People, Star, In Touch
Date: 11 July 2011

Eventually, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux will be together long enough to have a nice picture of them together. As it stands, they are always being photobombed in one way or another. (The person you can see who seems to be annoying them is Jason Sudelkis.)

In any case, there are three stories in the supermaket rags about them this week. Here are the headlines.

• People: Jen & Justin Romantic NYC weekend
• In Touch: Justin & Jen talking marriage
• Star: Justin & Jen: his jilted ex speaks out

Ah, the good old predictable Star. No punch bowl is complete unless there's a turd in it.

Farewell Peter Falk.

Publications: People, Globe
Date: 11 July 2011

Peter Falk died last Friday, which gives the Only Ten Magazines That Matter plenty of time to consider whether to put him on the cover or not. People did something tasteful and the Globe didn't.

Quelle surprise.

Here are the headlines.

• People: Farewell Peter Falk
• Globe: Peter Falk - Tragic death secret
  Torment & hatred that drove Columbo star to his grave

Best wishes to the family and friends of Peter Falk, from a fan.

Bundles of Joy Alert: Pink's baby girl.

Publication: People
Date: 4 July 2011

It's easy to think the world of celebrities is filled with weirdos, but the gossip rags do want to publish good news from a traditional family perspective, with the majority of the focus on female celebrities. Of all the positive stories they tell about women, there is none more positive than a new mother with her baby, which is the treatment alleged bad girl Pink gets on the cover of People this week.

Best wishes to all concerned.

She Fought The Law Alert™: Casey Anthony may get away with murder!

Publication: People
Date: 4 July 2011

In early June, the Enquirer had a story in a week full of stories about Casey Anthony that said the mom accused of murder might walk. I considered the story far-fetched then, but now that it's in People, it has a little more weight. I also have to say that recent expert testimony about the sloppiness of the autopsy might sway the jury, and the prosecution's use of a jailhouse snitch might backfire.

This blog is not big on prediction, so we will wait and see what the verdict is. Recall that this trial is taking place in Florida, a legal cesspool of a state rivaled only by Louisiana and Texas.

Farewell Clarence Clemons.

Publication: People
Date: 4 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Only one of the supermarket gossip rags thought it was worth mentioning the passing of Clarence Clemons, the saxophone player for Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, who died this week after a stroke at the age of 69. Not surprisingly, the one magazine who noted his death was People, whose demographic definitely includes baby boomers, unlike the Globe or low rent Examiner, whose demographic is the parents of baby boomers.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Clarence Clemons, from a fan.

Damn You Skinny Alert™: How Jordin Sparks lost 30 lbs.

Publication: People
Date: 27 June 2011

Welcome to gossip heck, Jordin Sparks! I say "gossip heck" instead of gossip hell because the 21 year old winner of American False Idol in 2006 is on the cover of People and it's about weight loss, which is one of the nicest kinds of gossip, right up there with finding true love, getting married or having a baby.

All this week's news about Wills'N'Kate

Publications: Globe, People, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 27 June 2011

The Royal Couple are still a hot topic in the gossip rags, and they will probably stay that way as long as Kate is pretty, which could be quite a while. Here are the positive headlines.

People: The Princess Diaries
In her new role as duchess and wife, Kate dazzles the world with her real-girl glamour. Plus the couple pick a palace.

Weekly Life & Style: Wills'N'Kate: Inside their palace

But since every punch bowl is just another urinal to the dogs in the AMI kennel, here's the Globe's take on the situation.

Globe: As pressure mounts for Royal baby…
William's wife snaps!
Kate: "Now I know how Diana felt"
Secret letters hide shocking torment