Breaking news: Kim Kardashian wedding date set for August 20.

Publication: TMZ online
Date: 29 July 2011

TMZ publishes a picture of a wedding invitation for Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. The date is Saturday, August 20, three weeks from tomorrow. It says black tie.

We'll see soon enough if this is the real deal or not.

All this week's news about Kim Kardashian and the wedding.

Publications: OK!, Weekly Life & Style, In Touch, Us Weekly
Date: 27 June 2011

Just in case you are new to this blog and don't understand the pecking order in the supermarket gossip world, here's the basic outline.

The Evil: American Media Inc. (AMI) owns the Enquirer, Star, Globe, National Examiner and Sun. The first four are nasty and the last one is just silly, predicting the end of the world at least four times a year.

The not so evil: The other five supermarket rags are somewhat less nasty. The absolute top of the table is People, and they set trends. The other four, OK!, Weekly Life & Style, In Touch and Us Weekly, are eating the scraps from the table that People leaves behind. There is not one single owner for all five of these magazines, but In Touch and Weekly Life & Style are published by the German consortium Bauer.

People broke the story of Kim Kardashian's engagement in an exclusive. They will likely not mention her again until she walks down the aisle. The other four are all over her large and shapely booty like white on rice. Here are the stories.

• In Touch: Kim & Kris Fight over the wedding
• OK!: Kim sets record straight
  "I did not cheat on Kris"
• Weekly Life & Style: Kim's wedding in crisis
  no date set
  invites on hold
• Us Weekly: Kim & Kris :Our love was tested

As often happens, the stories are pointing in multiple different directions. The only thing that can be relied on in a situation like this is that the story is far from over.

(Cash Register) Bells Are Ringing Alert™: Inside Kim's greedy pre-nup.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 20 June 2011

The gossip rags are taking a turn against Kim Kardashian this week. Besides positive stories about her getting trim for her wedding, everything else says she's a slut or a gold digger, maybe both. Us Weekly has the details of her greedy pre-nup.

Please! She's the daughter of a Hollywood lawyer. In L.A., "I get everything and you get nothing" is also known as the Standard Opening Negotiating Position.

Scoop of the week:People has an exclusive interview with Kim Kardashian and her new fiance Kris Humphries.

Publication: People
Date: 6 June 2011

Fresh trash on... Wednesdays? Yes, People has the real deal on the cover, the exclusive story of how Kris Humphries proposed to Kim Kardashian. There have been plenty of stories in the supermarket rags before about the state of their romance, but the big difference between People and the rest of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter is that People doesn't publish idle speculation. (Planted crap, yes. Idle speculation, no.)

You should be able to read the headline in this cropped version of the cover this week. Back in April, Weekly Life & Style said he got her a 10 carat ring "just like Liz Taylor's". As you can see from this version, they were off by about a factor of two.

Best wishes to the happy couple.

Bells are Ringing Alert™: A ring for Kim!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 25 April 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Weekly Life & Style says things are moving forward fast on the marriage front for Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. The sub-headline reads "Kim chooses a 10-carat cushion-cut engagement ring. She confirms to Life & Style, 'I've found my wedding dress', and she'll marry Kris this year!"

They add the detail that the ring is "just like Liz Taylor's!" This proves she's serious.

Or something.