On the rocks alert: One gossip rag reports on Hugh Hefner being jilted.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 4 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Welcome to gossip hell, Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris! Lots of news organizations and online gossip outlets reported on 24 year old Crystal calling off the wedding to the 84 year old Hefner, but of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, only Us Weekly thought it was worth putting on the front cover this week.

Just a quick math note. A man who marries a woman twenty years his junior is marrying someone young enough to be his daughter. If she's sixty years younger, she could be his great-granddaughter.

Ick.