Breaking news: Mariah Carey gives birth to twins.

Publication: Huffington Post
Date: 30 April 2011

What seems like an extremely long pregnancy has come to a safe conclusion today as Mariah Carey gives birth to twins, 5 pounds 3 ounces and 5 pounds 6 ounces, small for regular babies but not out of the ordinary for twins.

Best wishes to all the family.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Bret Michael's heath and upcoming wedding.

Publication: Star
Date: 9 May 2011

Star has a headline about Bret Michaels' health and upcoming wedding to his longtime girlfriend. They do not have any picture to accompany this story, so I won't put up a picture either.

Way too many gossip rags are getting into this habit.

Damn You Skinny (or Fat) Alert™:Khloe bullied for being fat YET AGAIN.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 9 May 2011

Yet again, Khloe, the Baby Huey of the Kardashian clan, has a cover story about her weight. here are the headlines.

• Khloe tells Us
• Tortured for her weight
• After her mom calls her fat, Khloe opens us about her lifelong struggle and how Lamar makes her feel sexy

While this may not seem relevant to the Kardashian family, Khloe is the only daughter who is actually married and whose male companion does not seem like a complete douchebag.

This puts her a few points ahead of her petite but huge hootered sisters.

Brave Last Days Alert:Bob Barker one more time.

Publication: Globe
Date: 9 May 2011

The Globe and the low rent Examiner have been trying to kill off Bob Barker since last September. Here are the latest headlines.

• Tearful Bob Barker's Sad Last Days!
• 'Price Is Right' legend, 87, in new medical drama

Best wishes to Bob Barker, his family and friends.

Happy Anniversary to Nick & Mariah And Happy Birthday to the TWINS!!

And you guys had that office pool going that it would last.  Happy Anniversary to Mariah Carey and Nick (The Luckiest N*gga on The Planet) Cannon.  And what a great Anniversary gift but the arrival of your first born? 

The singer, 42, and her husband Nick Cannon welcomed their twin son and daughter today (Saturday); on  their fourth wedding anniversary! -- at an L.A. hospital at 12:07 p.m., her rep Cindi Berger confirms to THE GAMUTT.

According to Berger, the baby girl was born first, weighing 5 pounds, 3 ounces, measuring 8 inches long; her brother followed, weighing 5 pounds 6 ounces, and was 19 inches. Congratulations to the proud new parents.  Berger told the Associated Press, that first-time Dad was so nervous that he went to the wrong unit in the hospital, and had to be guided to the maternity ward by a nurse.



"It was right out of an I Love Lucy skit," Berger said. The couple had musical accompaniment as Carey delivered their kids to "We Belong Together," her smash #1 single from 2006.

Awww, how syrupy sweet, I need to see a dentist, I just got a cavity.  LOL.  But really, congrats to the new parents.  I for one am glad that they babies are here and healthy.  Now I don;t have to see anymore magazines covers with those two on the front posing almost nude.



Now comes the bid for the 1st baby pics!? Who do you think will get the exclusive??? 'People', 'Us Magazine'?  If they come out looking weird, maybe 'The Globe', or 'National Inquirer'?  At any rate, look to see even more mags with 'Carey & Cannon Plus 2' on the cover!

On the rocks alert: More Bachelor noise.

Publications: Weekly Life & Style, OK!
Date: 9 May 2011

After Teen Mom, the reality TV series the tabloids love the most that annoys me the most is The Bachelor. These romances almost never work out and we get rehashes of the debris for months and months after the show goes off the air.

Even Kendra Wilkinson doesn't bug me as much as these clowns.

Anyway, here are the headlines.

• OK!: Emily: Why I gave Brad his ring back
• Weekly Life & Style: How Brad betrayed Emily

Okay, okay. We get it. He's a heel and she's a flake. Let's move on, shall we?

On the rocks alert: Sandra betrayed again.

Publication: Star
Date: 9 May 2011

Once again, Jesse James is back on the cover of a supermarket rag and he blames Sandra Bullock for the fact he can't keep his penis in his pants. Pretty much the exact same story won Meanest Story of the Week way back in August of last year.

I didn't even think about nominating it for Meanest Story this week because it is such old news. Jesse is fading from the spotlight and the faster that happens, the better.

Love Bird Alert™: Jen's falling for Bradley Cooper!

Publication: In Touch
Date: 9 May 2011

Jennifer Aniston and her stunningly bad luck with men is one of the stories the supermarket rags will never abandon. This week, In Touch has her head over heels for Bradley Cooper. Here are the headlines.

• Jen falls for Bradley: Yes, she's in love!
• From steamy texts to talks of their "future together", why friends fear Jen's moving too fast… again!

Both commenter #1 Karen Zipdrive and I have our somewhat exotic theories as to what has made Jen's love life a shambles, but maybe that second sentence explains the situation more simply.

She's really, really clingy and nobody likes that.

LOL: Why they set her up like THAT? LUNCH MENU FAIL!

The Fayetteville State University Cafeteria lady was a brave trooper and decided to flex her public speaking chops to record the menu of the day for the school. LOL. Bless her little heart! BUT SHE FAILED MISERABLY! Who set her up like that!!!??? LOL Dirty Dirty Dirty people pushed her to this?
Coming off of her last job being teh speech writer for George Bush, this should've been a piece of cake!  Listen up---TOO FUNNY!!!!




Why didn't she just stop, take a deep breath and start over?? She got it together, (almost) at the end though
ONLY AT A HBCU!?
HBCU alumnus, you can bite me now! I don't care. LOL

Bruno Mars is so 'LAZY' on 'American Idol'.

Pop star Bruno Mars, stopped by 'American Idol' the other night and gave the last remaining contestants and the audience a taste of what it's like to be 'Lazy.'  'The Lazy Song', is Mar's latest single.  Take a gander......>




21142824813 by yardie4lifever2

Pop Life: Britney nabs another Platinum Plaque!

  Oooops,she has done it again!
Britney Spears' 7th studio album ‘Femme Fatale’ has been certified platinum  by the Record Industry Association of America (RIAA).  The album, which was released March 29th, debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200 Chart, becoming her record-breaking 6th #1 album .  It seem to take no time at all for POP SENSATION, Britney to nab yet another platinum plaque.  This is great momentum as she embarks on her World Tour with rap phenom, Nicki Minaj.  JUSTJARED was able to get some inside footage of Britney as she rehearsed for the upcoming tour.  TAKE A LOOK at what you can expect........

Bun in the oven alert™?: Teen Mom Leah's pregnancy shocker!

Publication: In Touch
Date: 9 May 2011

One good result of all the royal wedding coverage is less space on the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter for Teen Mom. Over the past eight weeks, there have been at least two Teen Mom stories per week in the supermarket rags, but this week only one, a "pregnancy shocker" involving Leah Messer.

Readers should be advised that the words "shocker" and "drama" on the cover quite often mean the story inside is the opposite of what you expect.

On the rocks alert: Oprah throws a fit over Stedman's new gal pal.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 9 May 2011

Welcome back to gossip hell 2011, Stedman Graham! While there have been a steady stream of stories about Oprah this year, this is the first mentioning The Boyfriend, or is he the Ex-Boyfriend? According to the low rent Examiner, Stedman is seeing somebody else, and Miss Winfrey is none too pleased.

Weekly World News alert: Guess who Barack Hussein Aloha Obama is related to?

Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 9 May 2011

The Sun has a prediction this week, but no dates on the cover, so I'm only reporting on what the Weekly World News has to say. According to them, the Only President We've Got is related to...

Sarah Palin, the queen of the I-Quit-arod.

Not an actual laugh, but I did smile.

Style for Style: DKMS GALA 2011

DKMS, the world's largest bone marrow donor center, furthered its fight against leukemia with the organization's 5th Annual DKMS Gala on Thursday, April 28th at Cipriani Wall Street in NYC.


Pharrell Williams served as emcee for the black tie event which  included an emotional first time leukemia patient and donor meeting, a special Lion King performance in honor of Shannon Tavarez and a performance by Grammy Award winner, Mary J. Blige. All proceeds raised will go directly to registering life-saving bone marrow donors.

Pop Star Rihanna had this to say at the fete:

"Anyone can be affected by leukemia," said Rihanna. "It is the number one disease children in the U.S. die of and we can change that. I encourage people to become bone marrow donors with DKMS. If we have more donors, we can save more lives."




*Keri Hilson*

Keri must have thought she was at The Royal Wedding.  She had a porter hold her train as she entered.

Every woman can dream, right?  Celebs do the darndest things..... LOL

*Rihanna*

*Leighton Meester*


*Pharrell*

WTF Moment: Akon

Why? For what reason?  Akon felt the new to show off at a recent concert.  Don't quite know why.  He looks like a Tootsie roll sprayed with Armour Oil. LOL.  I'm just saying.... People do the DARNDEST things...


Thank
Crunktastical.net for this 'gem'.

WTF Moment: Shaq & Hoopz

Somebody help me caption this????

I mean what is it? What's going on? How odd?  Is she trying out for cheerleader or something and is Shaq 'spotting' for her?  This is an odd couple.  VH1, We, Bravo, please get a camera crew here STAT.  This is a reality show waiting to be born!

Somebody please tell me how do they have sex?  I mean the proportions are all off.  Physically, how do they manage?  It's probably like a Great Dane trying to hump a Yorkie? Not a good visual..... *shivers*

WTF????

Atlanta Hawks send the MAGIC packing..bye bye Gilbert & Dwight...!

While everybody was all geeked up over 'some dude's 'wedding overseas, the Hawks were taking care of business here at home!  Our Atlanta Hawks sent Dwight, Gilbert and the Magic home...and out of the 1st round of the Playoffs last night with a 84-81 victory!  Congrats to The Hawks!

This marks the end of a troubled season for Gilbert Arenas; traded from the town that made him a star, deal with some personal and professional strife, and fall well short of his task of helping Dwight Howard get back to the NBA Finals. On a brighter note, The Hawks move on to round 2.



Joe Johnson led the Hawks with 23 points and 10 rebounds (seven offensive), and he was joined in the double-double category by Al Horford's 10 points and 12 rebounds. Crawford and Williams added 19 points and 10 points, respectively.

The Hawks won the series, 4-2, and will now face the Chicago Bulls in the second round.

Prince Harry BORED at his brother's Wedding!

See. I am not the only one.  Even Prince Harry was bored at this long drawn out process.  Or maybe he's thinking. "What about me DAMMIT!!!!! LOL"


JUST JOKES Y'all.. Stop sending me HATE MAIL to my mailbox...it's already FULL! LOL



"SAY WHAT???"" LOL

Meanest Story nominee: Kate Middleton can't have a baby!

Publication: Globe
Date: 9 May 2011

As should be expected, this blog is getting a lot of visits right now from people interested in today's royal wedding. Besides this being the happiest day of her life, Kate Middleton is also entered in competition for Meanest Story of the Week.

The tabloids have already floated the rumor that she is getting married pregnant, which is really unlikely if you've seen any recent pictures of her. Now, the Globe is going with a story that she can't get pregnant and calling it a "royal shocker"!

If it was true, this would be much worse news than her going down the aisle to marry a future king with a future king inside her. But this is the Globe, so wondering about the validity of the story is a really big IF.

This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.

Brave Last Days Alert and Meanest Story nominee: Larry Fortensky brain damaged and dying!

Publication: Globe
Date: 9 May 2011

The Globe isn't quite through with Miss Elizabeth Taylor just yet. They put a story on the cover that her last husband, construction worker Larry Fortensky, is brain damaged and dying, and that Liz left him $1,000,000 in her will.

Best wishes to Mr. Fortensky. This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest Story nominee: Tina Turner headed to booze rehab, friends fear.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 9 May 2011

Welcome (back) to gossip hell, Miss Tina Turner! The Enquirer has another one of those "friends fear" stories, which really means somebody needed a few bucks and they ratted out a celebrity for cash. According to this story, Tina is drinking hard after the death of her sister.

I hate to bring up age and Miss Turner in the same sentence, but I had a poster of her in my room when I was in high school, so she does technically count as Hey Old Timer Gossip.

This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.

Lil' Mama @ The Royal Wedding!

Wouldn't it be FUNNY AS HELL, if LIL'Mama popped at the alter of THE ROYAL WEDDING!!!!

All the glamour and the ambiance is surely enough for Lil'Mama to get up out her seat and rush the alter.  "It's just adrenaline!"

THAT WOULD BE EPIC!!

Do it Lil' Mama! Bum Rush the scene!!

LOL

I'm just saying....

Royal blues..... The Royal Wedding 2011

Congrats to the Prince William &Kate.  The Royal Wedding Day is finally here! Come inside...



















OOOHH, Awwww, beautiful.  Glad the day is here! As part of the media I felt I had to post for the fans.  But I'm full...
Weddings are great and all, and the grandeur, and romance of a royal wedding is even greater, but I am not going to be glued to the media coverage of the event.  So here yo go....

Enjoy!

Bells are Ringing Alert™: Stories about Wills'N'Kate a day before the big to-do.

Publications: Weekly Life & Style, OK!
Date: 9 May 2011

I'm a little surprised that only six of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter have stories about the royal wedding hitting the newsstands a day before the event. Most notably, People and the Enquirer are maintaining radio silence. I expect at least People will cover the event after the fact.

Here are the headlines about the wedding itself.

• Weekly Life & Style: Wedding of the year
  The ring! The kiss! And William's touching promise to his beautiful bride, Kate.
  Kate honors Diana
• OK!: Royal Wedding!
  The breathtaking dress, cake and flowers
  The tear-filled service & celebrity guests
  Diana would be so proud of her son
  Your personal guide to the historic event
  
  

Bells are Ringing Alert™: Stories specifically about Kate Middleton on the day before her wedding.

Publications: In Touch, Us Weekly, Star
Date: 9 May 2011

The supermarket rags are full of stories about the Royal Wedding, with many of them focusing on the bride, naturally. Here are those headlines.

• Star: Kate's the boss!
• In Touch: Princess Kate: Wedding dress drama
• Us Weekly: Kate's big day. How she got ready.

There is yet another Kate-centric headline, but it will be included in tomorrow's Meanest Story of the Week line-up.

The Royal Wedding 2011: Will you be there?

This is what you would've gotten IF YOU WERE INVITED! LOL  But like myself, you were not. So you will have to just watch it on television like everybody else.  LOL

The Royal Wedding is just a few hours away.  It is expected to be the most watched event this year and for quite some time.  Will you be watching?